


And I Have Eight Million Yen

by DearLazerBunny



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-03-13 19:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18947350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearLazerBunny/pseuds/DearLazerBunny
Summary: Haruhi’s best friend from middle school doesn’t quite believe her stories about this “host club”... until she finds out for herself.





	And I Have Eight Million Yen

You blow out a breath and tap your foot on the slightly-sticky ground of the coffee shop, two steaming cups and a pastry in front of you. You check the clock on your phone again. Technically, your coffee date should have started ten minutes ago, but you haven’t seen her in so long- you’re willing to give her the benefit of the doubt…

There’s a delicate tap on your shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. Traffic decided to be difficult…”

When you turn around, you almost tell the person in front of you they have the wrong girl, because there’s no way this doe-eyed cutie in a well-fitting uniform and professionally-styled hair is- “Haruhi? Oh my god, look at you! I don’t even recognize you!”

Your best friend smiles and brushes a bit of her bangs out of her brown eyes. “Well, you haven’t seen me since school started…”

“Well yeah, but- I think it’s the hair, I can’t believe Reo decided to throw gum in your hair the day before school started. I’m not used to it being short yet.” You shake your head at the memory, because yes, you had been there when the annoying neighborhood eight year old had spat a big wad of gum right in Haruhi’s hair, and during the consequent attempted rescue of said hair… only  for Haruhi to have chopped it all off while you were out of the room searching for more olive oil.

“You really think it’s that bad?”

Grinning, you shove a cup of coffee across the table to her as she slides into the booth, along with the pastry. “Actually, it kind of suits you. Just different, that’s all.”

Haruhi nods, practical as always, then focuses on the food and drink in front of her. “You didn’t have to-”

You wave her comment away, cutting her off. “Yes, I did. I haven’t seen my best friend in almost a month, so that means I get to treat her, yeah? And don’t worry, I picked up a few extra shifts at the bookstore, so I’m fine,” you add at her knowing look. Neither you or Haruhi are poor by any means, but you still have to be careful about splurging on treats. “Plus, we never even properly celebrated you getting your scholarship!”

“Alright, alright!” She says, holding up her hands in defeat and laughing at your exuberance. She takes a big bite of muffin and comically lets it puff out her cheeks. “ ‘appy?” Her voice is muffled through the crumbs.

“Very,” you giggle. “Just make sure you don’t get any on your uniform.” You glance at the obviously expensive material draped over her shoulders. “How’d you even afford that anyways?”

Haruhi groans. “Don’t remind me. Right now I only have this one, I’m going to have to do laundry every night.”

  
“Ew.” You wrinkle your nose. Laundry was so not your favorite. “We could… I don’t know, try to find something similar that doesn’t cost as much…?” You take in the school crest sewn onto the breast of the blazer; the subtle purple stripe woven into the silk tie. You sigh. “That might just make you stand out more, though. I think I’m way out of my depth here.”

Haruhi snorts. “Believe me, you aren’t the only one.”

You raise an eyebrow, clearly expecting her to elaborate, but she looks up at you with an innocent expression. “What?”

“Well you have to tell me about it! The infamous Ouran Academy!” You fake a swoon, complete with a hand to your forehead. “What’s it like? Is it really as ridiculously dramatic as everyone says?”

“Kind of…?” The girl across from you shrugs her shoulders. “I really like my classes; they’re a lot of work but I finally feel like I’m learning something, you know?”

“I do know, because my best friend is the smartest person in the world, and lord knows the crap we’re doing at the high school would bore you out of your mind.” Your voice is half proud and half grumbly. Ever since you met in middle school, you’ve been Haruhi’s number one cheerleader, even encouraging her to compete for the Ouran Academy scholarship- think of how it’d look on law school applications! But that doesn’t mean you appreciate dealing with high school without Haruhi by your side, leaving you alone amongst the masses of your peers.

Gosh, that’s got to be nothing compared to what Haruhi is going through though. Talk about culture shock. “And everyone’s treating you okay? I don’t care if they’re fancy-pants rich kids, I’ll come kick their asses if they’re not nice to you.”

“They’ve actually been pretty okay. I mean, yeah, they’re basically living in their own little bubble of fancy tuna and private armies, but for the most part no one has been outright mean.” She looks down into her drink and takes a sip, then snorts to herself. “Commoner’s coffee.”

“Say again?”

She shakes her head. “It’s nothing. Something one of my… friends said.”

“Friends. Friends! That’s great! Friends are good!” Haruhi glares at your overly chipper voice, and you give her a look right back. “Look, we both know you don’t have the easiest time making friends, and with all the new people… I’m just worried about you, okay? Because I care.” You give her a small smile and she smiles back, nodding her head. She knows you mean well. “So, tell me about these friends. Hopefully they haven’t replaced me already,” you joke.

“I, um. I kind of… joined a club?”

“You sure about that? You don’t sound too sure,” you tease.

“I… yes, I joined a club. Well. Sort of. I was kind of forced to…”

“ _Forced_ to join a club? How does that even happen?”

“Well. I was looking for a place to study, and I came upon this room I thought was empty, but it… really, really wasn’t. Empty, I mean. And then I tripped and may have broke an eight million yen vase,” she continues, her voice barely a whisper and her eyes wide, like she’s still seeing porcelain crash onto the floor.

“Oh my god.” One of your hands is covering your mouth. “Eight- eight million yen? What did you do?”

“The people who- own the vase, I guess? They basically said I can work off the eight million yen in their club. So now I’m their dog until graduation,” she finishes, her voice entirely too calm for the words that are coming out of her mouth.

You blink. Blink at her again. Then all at once, the giggles fly from your mouth, causing you to try and stifle them with a fist. “Man, Haruhi, you really had me going for a second. That was a good one!”

“Wh- what?”

You roll your eyes. “Come on, really? You expect me to believe a bunch of rich kids who probably already have a hundred maids apiece are going to enslave you until graduation for a mistake?” Another giggle. “Not to mention a school club owning some priceless vase. Look, you don’t want to tell me what you’re doing after school, that’s fine with me. Just so long as it’s not choir, yeah?”

For a moment, Haruhi just stares at you. Then, a small smile works its way across her face. “Yeah- yeah, I guess it was kind of ridiculous, wasn’t it?”

“One hundred percent certifiable,” you confirm. “But hey, as long as we still make time to hang out, it’s fine, okay?”

Haruhi nods, with a real smile now, and gently bumps her paper cup of coffee against yours. “Deal.”

…

Your eyes roam over your homework as the phone against your ear buzzes. After the third ring, the other end of the line finally picks up. “Hello?”

“Haruhi!” You drop your pencil onto a page of math problems you’ve been trying to decipher and swing your chair away from your desk. “I was beginning to think you were dead, you haven’t texted me back in ages!”

“Huh?” There’s a rustling noise as she pulls the phone away and checks her messages. “Oh. I’m sorry, I guess I’ve just been really busy.”

“Like always,” you tease. “But hey, you can make it up to me tonight. There’s a signing at the bookstore at seven and yoooooou’re gonna be my date!”

There’s a pause, then a rush of static. “I’d love to, I really would, but I’ve got this thing for the club I’ve got to do and…” she trails of, not really finishing her sentence.

You frown. “‘Club stuff?’ On a Saturday? I thought it was a school club?”

“It is, it’s just very… involved.”

You wait, in case she’s going to give you any more details, but when none seem to be forthcoming you sigh. “Okay, well, next time, right?”

“For sure, I promise. See you then!” The line goes dead before you can even say goodbye.

…

 _Hey, do you mind if I call you? There’s this stupid math problem giving me hives and I know you’re good at calculus so. Help a girl out?_ Your thumb hovers over the send button for a moment before actually pressing it. Normally you wouldn’t feel weird about asking Haruhi for help- she used to help you with your homework all the time- but she’s been so quiet lately, you figured you might be bothering her…

You grapple with the problems for another hour before you realize she never texted you back.

…

“Come on, come on, pick up…” you mumble, shuffling from one foot to the other as students stream past you on their way out of school. Finally, there’s a click on the other end, and you brighten immediately. “Haruhi! Hey!”

“Hey, what’s up? Hold on, let me…” Voices in the background fade a little. “It’s quieter over here. What’s wrong, are you okay?”

“Am I-? Yeah, Haruhi, I was just making sure we were still on for this afternoon. You said you wanted to see that new movie out, and we were going to go today?”

You very quickly realize your friend is only half-listening to you, because while you’re talking she’s simultaneously yelling at someone as well. “I’m on the phone, Tamaki! I’ll be back in a minute, just… hold on, okay?” She huffs into the receiver. “Sorry, what was that?”

“The movie? This afternoon? We talked about it last week.”

“Oh, damn.” Haruhi rarely cursed. “I’m sorry, I totally forgot, things at the club have just been super busy and-”

“Right. The club.” You can’t help the bitterness that bleeds into your voice. “You know, Haruhi, if you don’t want to hang out with me anymore, that’s fine, but at least stop leading me on!’

“What? I-”

“Look, I get it.” Angry tears are running down your cheeks, and you swipe at them. “Fancy new school, fancy new friends- I’m sure they’ve got a lot more to offer you than I do. I just…” you trail off. “I haven’t seen you in months, and I miss you. But it’s fine, really. Don’t worry about me. And you don’t have to keep making up these mythical club excuses to get out of meeting up with me.”

“The club isn’t-”

“Yeah?” You challenge. “Then what kind of club is it, hm? You haven’t even told me!”

“…a host club,” you hear her whisper on the other end.

“A _host_ club? What does that even mean!” You shake your head. “You know what, forget it. I’ll see you some other time. Bye.” You hang up to her protests, but you don’t really hear any of them. Unbeknownst to Haruhi, later was going to be however long it took to walk to Ouran Academy- you check your phone. About fifteen minutes, then. If she was going to keep standing you up, the least she can do is stand you up to your face.

…

Ouran Academy is… huge. No, huge doesn’t even begin to cover it. Massive? Monumental? The soaring spires, beautiful architecture, and sprawling grounds takes your breath away. So this is how the other half lives. Every fiber of your being is screaming for you to run back home- you, in your worn jeans and sneakers and band tshirt, most definitely do not belong wandering around a school that’s tiled with marble and gold. Still, you take a breath and pull open the massive doors. Someone around here has to know Haruhi, right? They can give you a clue as to where she is…

After many, many students inexplicably giggling when you mention Haruhi’s name, you’re eventually directed to Music Room 3. A music room? Maybe she really did join a club… but why be embarrassed about learning an instrument, why not just tell you? You reach for the gold polished handle and tug the doors open, determined to get to the bottom of things.

You’re greeted with a toss of rose petals and the smell of some really, really expensive tea, along with politely demure chatter and the clinking of teacups. You blink. There’s got to be a hundred girls in here, chattering around tables and lounging on sofas. What the heck? You must have the wrong place.

“Why hello there!” You nearly jump out of your skin when a blonde appears by your side, his face open and inviting. “Are you lost, princess? I must admit you don’t seem like our usual customer, but fear not! Beauty comes in all forms, and I am more than happy to show you just how beautiful you are…” the boy in front of you takes your hand and kisses the back of it like he’s some medieval prince, and you stand there for far too long trying to pull your brain back online.

“Um… I have absolutely no idea what to say to that.” You yank your hand away like he might bite. “I don’t know what you’re selling, dude, but I’m just looking for my friend, and I think I definitely have the wrong room, so I’ll just-”

“Nonsense!” The boy cries, his purple eyes- _purple eyes, really? What is this, an anime?_  “I’m sure you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for here, no matter your type. After all, it is our specialty.” He throws in a wink that simultaneously makes you want to laugh in his face and maybe throw up a little in the back of your mouth. “Now, do you prefer the strong, silent type? Or perhaps-”

A familiar laugh catches your ear, and you see Haruhi sitting on a sofa with a group of girls, laughing at something one of them has said. They all look like they’re hanging onto her every word, and you love your best friend, you really do, but how or why she’s holding all these girls in rapt attention is completely beyond you. “Haruhi?!”

The blonde in front of you furrows his brow. “Haruhi?”

The girl in question looks up at the sound of her name, ad when she spots you, visibly pales. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Well, I came to be mad at you, but now…” you glance horrified at the blonde who is still standing way too close to you and the gaggle of girls who are suddenly glaring at you murderously. “…I think I’m here to rescue you?”

“Rescue Haruhi?” The blonde is immediately sent into a tizzy, wringing his hands and jumping all over the place. “But why would you ever need to do that? What reason would we have to harm our poor sweet little Haruhi? I’ll have you know the Host Club is the epitome of class and respect, and that extends to each and every one of its members-”

“The Host Club?” Your voice ticks up an octave in incredulity. You eye Haruhi. “You weren’t kidding?” She gives you a thin smile. Over in the corner, two redheads look about an inch away from making out with each other, and your eyes about pop out of your head. “Oh my god, is this some kind of weird sex thing?!”

“The Ouran Host Club is where the school’s handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. Just think of it as Ouran Academy’s playground for the super rich and beautiful!” The blonde says all of this with his chest puffed out and in an indignant tone, like he’s said this many, many times before.

You blink. “Oh my god, my best friend is in some weird sex club. Haruhi, you know I love you and I will always respect your choices, but this is-”

“It’s not a sex thing!” She shrieks. “It’s… we just… talk! There’s tea! It’s actually kind of nice!” Haruhi glances over with you at the redheads who you can now see are twins- they seem to have refrained from locking lips right then and there, but the two of them are still sitting uncomfortably close and looking at you with interest. Haruhi sighs. “Okay… Maybe ignore them. But other than that…!”

“Ignore us?” The redheads are up and leaning over Haruhi’s shoulder in an instant, voices eerily in sync. “But we’re the most interesting ones here!” Says one. “Don’t you want to introduce us to your friend?” Says the other, in a nearly identical voice, looking at you with mischievous amber eyes.

“Um, guys, this is Y/N. She’s my best friend from middle school. Y/N, this is… the club.” She waves her hand, and three more boys magically appear from wherever they were hiding.

“Is there a problem?” A deep voice rumbles from behind you, and when you turn- _holy shit how tall is this guy? He’s built like a tank!_

“No, Mori, it’s fine. She’s a friend.”

“Oooooooo, a friend of Haru-chan! That means we can be friends, too!” There’s a tug on your sleeve and you look down to find another blonde, this one as tiny as the deep-voiced one is tall. He’s cuddling a small stuffed rabbit in the crook of his arm. “I’m Mitsukuni Haninozuka! But you can call me Honey! Everyone does!” His eyes are wide an adoring, and why the hell is this five year old running around with high schoolers?

“Um. Hi, Honey,” you say carefully, extracting yourself from his grip. “Nice to meet you.”

He beams up at you. “Do you want some cake? Today we have strawberry; my favorite!”

“Maybe later,” you say weakly. He shrugs and turns to the giant- Mori- who wordlessly picks him up and settles him onto his shoulders like that’s a completely normal thing that happens all the time.

Unfazed, Haruhi gestures to the twins still clinging to her side. “This is Kaoru, and this is Hikaru,” on the right and left, respectively. There’s no way you’re ever going to keep them straight. “And that’s-”

“Tamaki. King of the Host Club, at your service!” He says this with a flourish, making you raise an eyebrow higher than you ever thought possible.

“You… weren’t kidding.” You look at Haruhi. “You joined a club. A _host_ club. No, wait. You said you were forced. The vase- was that real too? Holy crap, you broke an eight million yen vase?”

“I’m afraid so.” The final boy steps forward, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Ootori Kyoya,” he says calmly, inclining his head. “The vase was scheduled for auction to raise money for the club. Unfortunately, with its demise, Haruhi here has no choice but to work off the debt after school each day.”

“By calling her your dog? What, do you make her lick your shoes to a polish?”

Haruhi clears her throat, and you glance at her. “I’m, uh. I’m actually a host now.”

“Oh, fantastic. That’s so much better.”

“I can assure you, miss… Y/N? That Haruhi is in good hands here.”

You stare at him incredulously, meeting his cool gaze. “As much as someone can be being forced to work until graduation for something that was an accident? You’re… Ootori, right, your family practically owns half of Japan.” He doesn’t dispute you. “And you all!” You turn to the rest of the group. “How much is tuition here? Eight million yen is probably pocket money to all of you! But instead of helping out the new girl- who was probably just as freaked out as I am right now, I feel like I could break a couple of priceless vases too- and just cough up your weekly allowance to cover the cost, you decide instead it’d be funny to hold blackmail over her head until graduation?” You’re practically fuming. “Rich people! Unbelievable.”

“I believe we aren’t in the business of handing out charity,” Kyoya says coolly, and you scoff.

“Right. The people who are in a position to actually give charity conveniently don’t want to. Jesus.”

“Hey!” Haruhi interjects. “I don’t need charity!”

“You don’t have eight million yen either!” You argue back.

You’re both at an impasse, staring each other down as only best friends can, while the onlookers look between the two of you like it’s a tennis match. “Look,” Haruhi says softly. “I’ll admit this is… unorthodox. But the host club really isn’t that bad.” She looks around at the boys who have moved into semi-defensive positions in case they need to fight for her honor, or something, which makes her smile. “I have friends here. Which isn’t something I thought I’d say transferring to Ouran.” She takes a breath. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I promise I never meant to ignore you. There’s just been… a lot going on.”

“I can imagine,” you say, eyeing your audience. “Just… shoot me a text every once in a while, okay? Just so I know you haven’t been kidnapped by a gaggle of rich boys… any more than you already have been, I guess.” You fumble over your words. God, this was so weird.

Tension abated, most everyone watching floats back to whatever it was they were doing before you barged into the music room. “And you.” You point a finger at the Ootori boy before he can run away. “Haruhi is loyal to a fault. And she pays her debts. It’s noble, really, but you better be giving her breaks and days off and- is there a union for this sort of thing? God, I’m so out of my league here.” You pause. “Just- if any of you hurt her, I’ll know, and your fancy private police force won’t be able to save you. Got it?”

He looks vaguely amused behind his glasses- and maybe a little impressed. Not may people have the guts to stand up to him like that. “I believe the issue of breaks and such would need to be taken up with Tamaki. He is the club’s president, after all.”

You glance over at the boy, who is currently alternating fussing and shouting and crying over Haruhi, who seems to be tolerating all of that hoopla generally well. “Right. _He’s_ the president of the club. And I’ve got eight million yen.”

Ootori nods. “Touché. I promise you we’ll be in touch regarding Haruhi’s progress at Ouran. I’m sure you know how dedicated she is, so she should have no problems.”

“True. But she doesn’t need anything distracting her, either.”

“As I said, we’ll be in touch. Should you begin to see problems, we’ll talk.” He looks over at the other club members, all talking with Haruhi. “Though if it’s any consolation, I believe most of the gentleman here care for her as much as you do.”

You follow his gaze to the little group, who are talking and laughing amongst themselves like old friends. Haruhi is in the middle of it all, and despite the attention she usually so hates, she’s smiling. And laughing. And seems happier than she has in a long time. Huh.

“Yeah. Maybe they do.”


End file.
